Indulge me for a moment while I look back over the past year and all the things that I have learnt. It’s for my pleasure only, as a reminder of how I’m growing and developing into the person I am becoming.
2018 has probably been one of the best years of my life yet, with so many amazing memories made. I’ve bought a house, been on some *incredible* holidays and settled into a life I am shaping for myself. It was the first year of not being in education (which is crazy when I type it!) and the first where I haven’t wished for the next thing.
You know those promises you make yourself. I’ll be happier once I have graduated. I’ll be happier once I have my house. Well, for me 2018 was that year and it’s a year where I have been fully in the now.
With that, 2019 is sure to be a year full of absolute surprises. It has no expectations, no grand goals. I can’t wait to see what I’ll be typing out as my intro for this post, this time next year.
I am actually an adult now
This year is the first year where I am an actual adult. I have a bloody mortgage. And a cat. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it’s pretty awesome. One thing is for sure, however, being a proper adult can be so god-damn mundane.
The endless laundry. Having to clean the dirty dishes every day. The arguments you have over money, DIY or working too much.
But then you have the joyous things about being an adult. Making your own decisions. Putting the world to rights over cocktails. Having money.
This year is the first year of being an actual proper grown up. It’s equally terrifying, a bit shit and bloody awesome.
I’m still figuring things out
Being an actual proper grown-up means that you realise that everyone around you is just winging it. Blagging their way through life. This is me.
I don’t have a bloody clue what I’m doing with my life. And despite the numerous existential crisis I still have known and again. That’s okay. No-one has their shit together completely, everyone’s just muddling along, figuring out things as they go and the same applies to me.
Of course, I’d bloody love to have a plan of action – to know how I am going to take on the world and kick ass. But I don’t. I really really don’t.
To pay attention to my body
This year I have had to really really listen to my body. The end of 2017 was filled with hospital visits, following a diagnosis of endometriosis. It was a shitty end to the year, but by the start of 2018, I was determined not to let my diagnosis take over.
It was a case of mind over matter and I had to learn to listen to what my body was telling me. I started to see the signs of when I needed to slow down and have a rest, cause when I didn’t, a flare-up would be sure to follow. I can still be stubborn and think I can manage when sometimes, I need to take it easy – but on the whole, I know what is good for me and my body. Plenty of sleep, a stable routine, good wholesome food and definitely no stress (the latter is easier said than done!).
I’m a home-girl at heart
I’ve been so lucky this year, I have travelled to some incredible places and had so many fantastic opportunities granted to me. But earlier this year, while on the way to Saint Lucia I learnt what it felt like to be home-sick. I had never experienced homesickness before, but I desperately missed David, my cat and all my home-comforts. This was the first year where I have ever felt the pull of wanting to be back in my own home, with my own little family.
While I love the adventure that travel provides, really I think I’m a home-body at heart. By the end of the holiday whether it be a two-week all-inclusive in the Caribbean or a 3-night city break – I am ready to come home, back to my bed, back to routine and back to my pickle (aka Luna).
To be more like Freddie Mercury
After watching the incredible Bohemian Rhapsody at the cinema, I became mildly obsessed with Freddie Mercury. He was so talented and really loved making music. He was always himself; fabulous, camp and electric.
2018, therefore, taught me to be more sure of myself, to be more fabulous and to really know who I am. Freddie was so good at captivating a crowd with his presence and while I certainly won’t be putting myself under any form of spotlight ever, I want to take on some of Freddie’s confidence. To be more unapologetic and accepting that I am who I am.
To live more like Freddie.